It
is
amazing
how many
opinions people have about how you should do things ... after you’ve started doing them. So, let me just tell YOU how to do it so you won’t have questions when it’s your turn.
Start by having a friend come over to merely start digging a large hole in the middle of your front lawn. There is absolutely no need to check for utility or water lines. He shouldn’t even feel obligated to ask you where you would prefer the hole. He should just do it his own way. It really makes it more pleasurable for everyone that way.
That friend should probably stop digging rather early in the evening and simply give directives to your other friends who come by to help.
For the most part, digging a pit in which to roast a hog or two is a one-at-a-time project. One man to dig while several others watch him, drink cheap beer (for some reason this whole production is, frankly, better with cheap beer), and offer suggestions. You should expect at least a handful of neighbors to stop by to experience this step in the process.
Only the first guy who started aimlessly digging is allowed to light the fire, however! It’s only fair since he started the digging, he told everyone else how to perform each and every step in the digging and
fire-building process, from the kindling proportions
to wood and rock placement, and he
was willing to have a bona fide freak out each time
someone made a new decision.
You absolutely must be willing to drink more
cheap beer and watch the fire for several
hours into the night. This step is crucial.
If you follow these steps, you will dig a very
successful pit, get a great workout, make
yourself completely filthy, have a lot
of fun, and be off to the perfect start toward
a realistic luau!!
Try it!
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