Saturday, August 30, 2008

How Can You Just Leave Me Standing

I work in fashion retail. It seems like I always have and always will. I’ve drifted away from it from time to time but invariably end up going back. It’s in my blood or something. The only downfall, really, is that (speaking of Fall) we have to dress according to the season we are selling. So, while it is still extremely hot and humid outdoors, I am wearing a corduroy blazer and large silk scarf to work. Fine in the store, but rather inappropriate for the out-of-doors!
As I was leaving tonight, a coworker said, “Take that jacket off, you’re making me hot!” I said, “I know, but I think I forgot to shave my armpits.” (It could happen to anyone.)
I thought I could suffer through the heat while riding the Metro home, but it really was hot and terribly stuffy. So I took off my jacket, wadded it into a ball, and shoved it into my backpack. I thought, “Well, I’ll just keep my arms close to my sides, no one will notice.”
This plan was going rather smoothly until we had to disembark our train, stand in some strange holding queue, then get on a shuttle bus to the next Metro stop. It was hot and muggy outside and standing in line is never one of my favorite things to do, anyway. Especially since not even one of us seemed to know where we were going! We were just blindly following one another as if the heat was making us terribly thirsty and the guy holding that big punch bowl full of kool-aid on the shuttle bus seemed trustworthy enough.......
The line was full of chatty be-moustached gentlemen and thousands upon thousands of irritating gnats, but it did move somewhat quickly, I mean, what’s an extra hour added to a normal 90 minute commute?
I had completely forgotten about the armpit situation until I got on the shuttle bus and realized there were no more seats available! Since my jacket was in my bag and we were so packed into the bus, I couldn’t get at it to save myself, I thought maybe I could just balance and bypass using the overhead hand rails ... I’ve been getting better at controlling my center of balance, thanks to my Wii Fit Board, and I was seriously thinking I could avoid a Gilda Radner/Patti Smith moment. Sadly, I was wrong!

Tonight will be spent with some much needed grooming and more practice with the balance games on Wii. Maybe later some SNL for old time’s sake!

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